Stunned By "Ben Affleck As Batman" Reports, Patriots Mauled By Lions

Following their mysteriously uncompetitive 40-9 loss to the Detroit Lions, it appears that the culprit behind the New England Patriots' uncharacteristic stinker emanated from a source close to their own backyard.

Reports say that during warm-ups, news spread about Hollywood's choice of local boy-made-good Ben Affleck to take on the role of The Batman in the upcoming Superman sequel, which led to a team-wide collapse as players discussed the merits of "Good Will Hunting as Batman" and other possible acting choices.

Following the game, Patriots Quarterback Tom Brady addressed the media, though he still appeared to be distracted by the news.

"Look, I take responsibility for our team not performing the way that we...I mean, come on, though...Ben Affleck?!? BEN AFFLECK??!! As Batman?!? Jeez...I could see The Submariner or maybe Martian Manhunter...I mean, I even liked Daredevil a little bit. But Batman? I'm sorry...what was the question?" 

Brady declined to comment on rumors that Gisele Bundchen was being considered for Batgirl.